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The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Chapter 16. The Magic Art of the Great Humbug
Next morning the Scarecrow said to his friends,
"Be happy for me. I'm going to Oz to get my brains at last. When I return I'll be like other men."
"I have always liked you as you were," said Dorothy simply.
"That's kind of you to like a Scarecrow," he replied.
"But surely you'll think more of me when you hear the great thoughts my new brain is going to make."
Then he said good-bye to them all in a cheerful voice and went to the Throne Room, where he knocked upon the door.
"Come in," said Oz.
The Scarecrow went in and found the little man sitting by the window, thinking hard.
"I've come for my brains," said the Scarecrow, a little nervous.
"Oh, yes, sit down in that chair, please," replied Oz.
"You must excuse me for taking your head off,"
"But I have to do it so I can put your brains in the right place."
"That's all right," said the Scarecrow.
"You're welcome to take my head off, as long as it'll be a better one when you put it on again."
So the Wizard unfastened his head and emptied out the straw.
Then he went into the back room and took a measure of bran, which he mixed with many pins and needles.
After he shook them well, he filled the top of the Scarecrow's head with the mix.
He packed the rest with straw to hold it in place.
When he had fastened the Scarecrow's head on his body again he said to him,
"From now on you'll be a great man, for I have given you a lot of brand-new brains."
The Scarecrow was pleased and proud to have his wish fulfilled, after thanking Oz he went back to his friends.
Dorothy looked at him with interest.
His head was quite bulged out at the top with brains.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"I feel very wise," he answered seriously.
"When I get used to my brains I'll know everything."
"Why are those needles and pins sticking out of your head?" asked the Tin Woodman.
"That shows he's sharp," said the Lion.
"Well, I must go to Oz and get my heart," said the Woodman.
So he walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
"Come in," called Oz, and the Woodman entered and said, "I've come for my heart."
"Very well," answered the little man.
"But I'll have to cut a hole in your chest so I can put your heart in the right place."
"I hope it won't hurt you."
"Oh, no," answered the Woodman.
"I won't feel it at all."
So Oz brought a pair of tinsmith's shears and cut a small, square hole in the left side of the Tin Woodman's chest.
Then he went to a chest of drawers and took out a pretty heart, made all of silk and filled with sawdust.
"Isn't it a beauty?" he asked.
"It's, indeed!" replied the Woodman, who was very pleased.
"But is it a kind heart?"
"Oh, very!" answered Oz.
He put the heart in the Woodman's chest, then put back the square of tin where it was cut.
"There," said he.
"Now you have a heart that any man might be proud of."
"I'm sorry I had to put a patch on your breast, but it really couldn't be helped."
"Never mind the patch," cried the happy Woodman.
"I'm very grateful to you, and I'll never forget your kindness."
"Don't speak of it," replied Oz.
Then the Tin Woodman went back to his friends, who wished him every joy because of his good fortune.
The Lion now walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.
"Come in," said Oz.
"I've come for my courage," announced the Lion, entering the room.
"Very well," answered the little man, "I'll get it for you."
He went to a cupboard and reached up to a high shelf.
He took down a square green bottle and poured what was inside into a green-gold dish, beautifully carved.
He put this before the Cowardly Lion, who sniffed at it as if he didn't like it, and the Wizard said,
"Drink."
"What's it?" asked the Lion.
"Well," answered Oz.
"If it were inside you, it would be courage."
"You know courage is always inside a person, so this can't be called courage until you have swallowed it."
"So I advise you to drink it as soon as possible."
The Lion didn't wait any longer, but drank until the dish was empty.
"How do you feel now?" asked Oz.
"Full of courage," replied the Lion, who went happily back to his friends to tell them of his good fortune.
Oz, left alone, smiled at his success in giving the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, and the Lion what they wanted.
"How can I help being a humbug,"
He said, "How can I help being a humbug?"
"It was easy to make the Scarecrow and the Lion and the Woodman happy," he said.
"But it will take more than thinking to carry Dorothy back to Kansas, and I do not know how".